The Edward Elric Song
by Do a Barrel Roll
Summary: Wonderful parody of "Baby Got Back", all about Edward Elric and his bishonen awesomeness. The product of my demented mind and boredom in art class, along with caffeinated protein bars...


**I would like to say, first off, that I'm not an Ed fan girl...this just came to my mind and I couldn't say no. This is actually NOT a love child between my imagination and caffeine. It's just a result of boredom in art class when we watched a movie about the Helvetica font. **

**Nope, don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, Naruto, Death Note, Final Fantasy VII, One Piece, or this song. **

**I'm not bashing anything in this fic, I love Final Fantasy VII and One Piece and I've never watched Naruto or Death Note. I don't really like the original song, though...nor do I like Envy.**

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**Eddie's So Stacked**

(Talking)

Oh my gosh, Winry  
Look at that automail  
It is so big  
He looks like one of those author's manga characters  
Who understands those authors...  
They only like him 'cause he looks like a total bishonen  
I mean, look at him! I can't believe it  
He's just so jacked, and blond, and smooth  
Whoa  
Still, he's just too...short!

(Rap)

I like Ed Elric and cannot lie  
You other fan girls can't deny  
That when he went and rocked Japanimation  
With his crazy transmutation

You're hooked  
To his bishie looks  
And how he mows down all those mooks  
Look at the way he's glarin'  
Call him chibi and his temper's flarin'

But Edward I'm diggin' those muscles  
They're worth the bustle  
The fan boys tried to warn me  
But with automail  
You're a hard core amputee

Ooh, you say Mustang's  
Way cooler than good ol' Ed?  
Well, 'scuse me, 'scue me  
But to me Roy's just too douche-y

I've seen Ed schoolin'  
He's got the girls all droolin'  
He's jacked  
Stacked  
Look at all the K.O.'s he's racked

I'm tired of these fan sites  
Saying Ling Yao's in the right  
But Ling can't clap and just like that  
Go lay down the smack

So newbies (yeah)  
Newbies (yeah)  
If you want some FMA (heck yeah)  
Just make sure you watch Brotherhood  
Before the first anime

Eddie's so stacked

(Risembol face with the Central booty)

Eddie's so stacked!

I like 'em loud, and blond  
And when he's kicking with Alphonse  
I just can't help myself, I'm awwing at it all

Now here's the skinny  
He pulls out his automail  
Goes BAM! Double kill! BAM BAM!

I ain't talkin' bout flames and blaze  
'Cause everyone knows it's about arm blades

Some say he gets mad too loosely  
And that gets him in trouble  
But on the double  
He leaves 'em all behind in rubble

So I'm lookin' at this Naruto  
Orange-suited ninja talkin' like "YOLO!"  
They can keep that chico  
I don't want a man in rainbow

A word to the Death Note girls, I know you like Light  
You wanna give him a love bit  
But I gotta be straight when I say he *sucks*

Till the break of dawn  
Ed's got me singin' this song  
You prefer Envy, that's just wrong  
'Cause that palm tress likes to cross dress and make a mess  
And I'd rather know a guy's gender

'Cause Ed's tough, and he's buff  
And he won't put up with your yaoi fuff

So fan girls (yeah)  
Fan girls (yeah)  
If you wanna get with a boss (Oh yeah)

Then turn it on  
Read it too  
Even Father's gotta say

Eddie's so stacked

Eddie's so stacked

Yeah, when it comes to characters  
Otaku's got nothing to do with my selection  
Silver hair and glowing eyes?  
Ha ha ha, not even if he's Sephiroth...

So fans are sometimes bothered  
To think if Ed is beaten by Father  
But Father can hardly be considered hotter  
The ending made it clear as brass  
That Ed can beat Father's (transmutation sound)

You can try tank tops or funny hats  
But please don't loose that cloak

Some posers wanna play the smooth guy  
And tell you manga just ain't fly  
So they ditch it and beat it  
And I go ahead and read it

So they say One Piece beats all?  
Well, they're gonna start a brawl  
'Cause his automail's sleek and his alchemy rocks  
And we love the blond locks

To the die hard fans of reality TV  
I'm not missing a thing  
Give me Ed and his war over a Jersey Shore whore  
Alchemy and automail never bore

Some Homunculi tried to dis  
The one sacrifice on their list  
They had power but they couldn't whomp 'im  
So Ed went ahead and curbstomped 'em

So fan girls if you want adventure  
But you don't want Winry to wrench ya  
Dial 1-900-FULLMETAL  
And buckle up for the ride

Eddie's so stacked

Risembol face with the Central booty

Risembol face with the Central booty

Risembol face with the Central booty

Risembol face with the Central booty

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**I may write more songs! This is an addiction of mine.**


End file.
